Post by Serenitystar on Aug 15, 2009 10:42:20 GMT -5
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Alright I figured since I have a lot to say I might as well make an announcement. Please read through ALL of this post, I know its long, but its for your benefit. So read all of it.
First off I am going to have to put a ban on a few things. I have just read too many bios, and to me they all look the same. I am putting a ban on making any rouge joined clan, clan/rouge mix, and any of that sort. Clan mixes are still fine, but I would prefer if you held off on them for now. Below you will find the numbers of full clan cats, mixed, and rouge joined clan cats. See how they are about dead even with regular clan cats? Well if you are trying to make your cat "special" by making them an outsider it isn't really working since everyone else is an outsider as well.
Kittypets/Rouges/Loners that have joined a Clan: 5
Mixed Clan w/ R/L/K: 2
Mixed Clan: 1
Tribe Cats that have joined a Clan: 2
Regular Clan cats: 9
Total Cats: 19
There are more ways to make your character stand out than making them an outsider. Be original, think of something better so I don't have to read the same thing over and over again. This also brings me to my next topic of discussion. Histories. This week I have seen some really bad histories and by that I mean they are too short. I know on a lot of your bios I have had to ask you to make it longer, so I thought I had better make sure everyone else knows as well. When you write your history I don't only want to know the circumstances of your characters birth, I also want to know what happened to the after the fact. It will depend on how old your character is as to how long there history has to be. I know on the bio form it says about a paragraph, but I also said it should be more than that. It should be the longest part of your bio. That means it should be longer than your IC as well. For your benifit I have included an example of a good history and a bad one.
Bad History Example:
I was born to a litter of three. I am pure DreamClan. My father was a very strong warrior. A large pack of dogs came in during my apprenticeship. My brother, sister, myself and my parents were in the battle to destroy them. They managed to kill the leader, leaving the rest to flee. Sadly, my entire family was wiped away by these awful beasts.
Now look at me and tell me with a straight face that its a good history. Its horrible. There's no detail at al, its short and to top it off its in first person. Don't ever wroite your bio in first person, always use third. The rper doesn't even bother to tell you the names of any of his kin, or himself for that matter. It just all around sucks. when I see your history I want to be amaze, absolutely stunned. Be descriptive and fun, don't bore me to death. Alright on to the good history example.
Good History Example:
Heatherkit smiled at her little sister, literally little, as she was twice the size as Fawnkit. “Fawnkit, guess what?” She meowed, smiling brightly at her “I convinced Sprucestar to let you become a warrior along with the rest of us, even if you’re smaller!” The tiny golden tabby seemed to glow and she meowed, “Really? Thank you Heatherkit!” Fawnkit purred, touched noses with her older sister. Heatherkit’s chest puffed out with pride as Fawnkit went scrambling back to the nursery to exclaim the news to mother. Following her behind her, she saw Rosethorn purring and licking her kit all over with happiness. “Heatherkit, I am so proud of you. Jackelfang would be too.” Heatherkit felt happiness tremble through her spine at the mention of her father. He died to save her and her sister. They would live in honor for him.
---
“Heatherbreathes! Fawnstep! Heatherbreathes! Fawnstep!” The clan recited the new names of the warriors. One a sepia spotted with cream and one golden tabby stood proudly as their mother came to congratulate them along with many others. “Oh, Heatherbreathes, Fawnstep. It was just yesterday I saw you for the first time pressed against my fur with Jackelfang next to me.” Rosethorn gave a rusty purr, touching noses with her two kits, “I love you both. Please live to honor the warrior code.” Nodding, they meowed with an agreement, “We will.” Rosethorn smiled at them then let them pass to spread past the crowd of joyful cats.
---
She hid in the bracken, her fangs bared as she stared at the masses of cats fighting in the clearing. Fawnstep pulled up next to her and said quietly, “Sister, please. If we are to succeed this calls for surprise not anger.” Knowning the golden tabby had a good point she just sighed stepping out from the underbrush. She was joined by a sweet-smelling queen, obviously her mother Rosethorn. “This Cody is very daring to fight the clans. We will show him what Dreamclan truly is made of.” The two warriors grinned and started of to where that had planned to enter the skirmishes. “For Jackelfang!” All three snarled, leaping into the battle.
---
The battle was over, but not for her. The white she-cat was fleck all around with maroon liquid and on her back leg was a river flowing steadily to the ground. A stupid tom had raked two of his paws across her flank and it hurt like Starclan. She stumbled around, attempting to find both her sister and her mother who had gotten separated from her after she had acquired her wound. Finally, a glimpse of gold fur met her eyes and limped as fast as she could towards it. It was indeed her sister but by the blood that poured from her eyes it was clear that she could not see Heatherbreathes. “Fawnstep, Fawnstep, please it’s me.” She mewed, licking the dried flecks off her sister’s eyes. “Heatherbreathes.” A croak pulled from the warriors throat, “Leave me. I found Rosethorn before that accursed Cody got my eyes, she’s dead too. It’s my time as well, better since I can’t see.” The she-cat shook her head not fighting the tears but the dying cat went on, “I’ll be sure..to give love to Jackel…fang…” Her sister went limp and Heatherbreathes fell with her, sobbing.
---
Sighing she pulled her tongue across her healed flank, but even now as broken as could be. The worst of being an elder was the musky smell of the unused dens. She remembered her attempts at hunting, at fighting, at walking with this bad leg. It hadn’t worked. The only thing that kept her pushing forward was the dream she had been sent the night she had arrived back in Dreamclan after she had buried her family. “Heatherbreathes. We’re all find here.” A slim she-cat said. It was Rosethorn, looking as young as the day she had kitted with Fawnstep and herself. “You live long, teach the kits well.” Another she-cat joined her mother, golden pelt shining in an unknown light. “You are so beautiful, my daughter. Stay that way.” Heatherbreathes eyes filled with tears as a lean tom appeared next to his mate. Jackelfang, Rosethorn and Fawnstep all smiled and slowly faded away.
This is an excelent history example. And I mean it is absolutely stunning. The rper explains in story format all important details of Heatherbreathe's life. The --- indicate time jumps, and even though she did not include her apprenticeship she did go above and beyond. This is what I want to see when I read a history, though maybe not as long. A history like this will definately make me speechless.
Now that you have seen some examples I will explain in detail how long your history should be and what to include in it. Your history should include any and all details you want us to know about your characters past. If your cat is a Warrior it needs to be long enough to describe their kithood all the way up to being a warrior today. I suggest doing at least a paragraph for each, but again I would love to see more. If you are aiming for a higher position it needs to be even longer. A good way to see if your history is long enough is to ask yourself a couple of questions.
1. Is my history longer than the rest of my bio put together?[If no then you should probobbly extend it so that it is.]
2. Does my history cover my characters entire life?[If no then make sure you fill in the gaps.]
3. Is my history interesting and detailed?[One of the reasons people do not have long enough histories is because they don't have a detailed or interesting history. You can make your history longer by adding more detail and by doing so you make it interesting.]
A few things you may want to include in your history are: Your characters kithood, what were the circumstances of their birth? Did anyone die while they were a kit? Did a huge event happen while they were a kit? Their apprenticeship, who were your charcters friends? Did they go on any kind of adventure as an apprentice? Get into danger/trouble? warrior, how did they feel to become a warrior? How did they become a warrior? Did they ever fall i love with another cat? Did any major even happen that changed their life forever? Questions like these will help improove your history. You are not limated to these questions, I just covered the basics. Make it even more interesting. Your history can either be told by you, or you can make it like a story. Either way you choose is fine. but remember to do it in third person whichever way you choose.
Well that is basically it about the history. Make them fun and interesting!
The next part of this announcement is about my Activeness. I have started school again as most of you know, and my activeness will go up and down. I am in tenth grade and as I have already learned they are very depending of you. I'm in all honors classes this semester, so my teachers are always giving me hw. I will be on a lot during the weekends, but on week days I will be on very limited. I am on most mornings, but only for 20 minutes or so. In the afternoons it all depends on school work and after school activities I have planned. I may be on for an hour or more, but It most likely won't be any more than that. With that being said I will be needing a lot of help keeping this site active, so its up to you guys. I will need help advertising and the like. If you wish to advertise, go here. On that note I will also be re-doing the high position rules. we are in desperate need for some high position characters. If you are interested read this thread and pm me.
Also I have a request for eveyone. Since most of us are from Neopets I would much appreciate it if you put your neopets username on your profile. To do this just go to your profile by clicking your name, then click modify at the top. Then put your neopets username where it says Personal Text: Its under the avatar section. That would be very helpful. Thanks.
Well that is about it for the announcement as my fingers are tired of typing. Anyway I hope everyone reads ALL of this post. Have a great weekend.
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Serenitystar